I really want to get this blog back to what I envision it to be but now that it is time to share it with the world I am a bit scared. I mean, I am putting myself out there completely here! I can count on one hand those who know about my surgery. My completely surgery. I can tell you the one person, other than me, who knows my body and the changes it has gone through. So for me to put this out there is hard. My husband keeps telling me to share it on Facebook and all but then people I know will actually KNOW! I don’t want to go back to that insecure place where I looked 6 months pregnant and people noticed. I don’t want to lie to my friends but the truth is ugly and is scares the mess out of me. Now, let me clarify, I say “the truth is ugly” but I do not mean that *I* was ugly but the truth behind where I am and where I was is an ugly time. It is a time in my life that caused me much hurt but I am finally getting my confidence back now so to bare myself to people I know personally is hard. Don’t get me wrong, my 4 girls are totally worth it ALL but it doesn’t take away or minimize the hurt that I felt when people would ask me when I was due or when they would berate me in front of strangers like I didn’t know what I was talking about. Those words and those actions cut deeper than I would have ever thought they would and the scars they left affected me (and still haunt me, to be honest) more than I would have ever imagined. After all, I have never had anything less than good self worth…until all of the events leading up to my surgery.

All that to say, I will get around to promoting this site, I am proud of it!!, but it is just taking me a bit longer because, well, fear. In the end, however, I KNOW I have worked hard to get where I am at. Before my surgery, including my surgery, and after. And for that I am proud.

#FattyGetHott

P.s. Next post or so I will share with you some numbers as far as where I  started, where I started again, and where I am now. I will tell you, I have been getting stronger each week and I have hit new PR’s at least every other week if not every week. 😉