You know what’s hard? The gift of discernment. Oh boy is it hard! As someone who was blessed (because it IS a blessing) with the gift of discernment I feel comfortable stating that we don’t always like what we see and we sometimes push those findings aside for the sake of “the benefit of the doubt”, be it in ourselves or a friend/potential friend. We may like the person or the idea and we know we should listen to that “little voice”…yet we don’t always do that. When we don’t do that is when things eventually take a turn. It may take some time but eventually all of those little signs that we dismissed and ignored add up and we are left having to step back and really take a good look at things in order to make sure we aren’t inadvertently setting ourselves up for failure.
After that process comes the process of actually processing it all and figuring out the next step. The doubt creeps in, the frustration creeps in, and most of all the disappointment sets in; and I don’t just mean disappointment in the other person/people or situation, but in yourself. That’s usually the hardest part, to be honest. It’s one thing to be disappointed in someone else but when that disappointment is in yourself…man, that one will gut you. After last time you told yourself, “never again..” After last time you told yourself, “remember this for next time…” …yet here you are again and all you can tell yourself is, “I told you so..”
Don’t get me wrong, having the gift of discernment isn’t at all a bad thing, it is an amazing gift that I really do feel privileged to be blessed with…it’s just not always a fun thing. It doesn’t make making friends any harder, it doesn’t make having friends any harder, the hard part comes when I don’t listen to that voice and pay attention to those “red flags”, per se. Those are the times I am left disappointed, frustrated, and drained. More times than not a person with the gift of discernment has been hurt to the core before at least once, they have been betrayed, they have learned those tells to look for and listen to, and they have worked hard to hone in on that discernment so that none of that happens again…so when it does it’s hard not to beat yourself up because you “knew better”.
I’ll leave you with this thought, while you may not know for sure who does or does not bear the gift of discernment, just watch…watch your friends, new friends, acquaintances, if they tend to sit back quietly and watch and take in everything that is going on, if they are quiet until they are not, if they tell you that they have been hurt before but they don’t go into too much detail, there is a good chance that that friend has some pretty good walls up. So if you find yourself fortunate enough to be let through those walls, know that it was done intentionally and probably with a lot of thought, over-thought, and consideration. It wasn’t an easy decision. Don’t take it lightly. You were let in because that person felt comfortable enough to let their guard down and invite you into their life. If your plan is to use that person to get ahead in life and make yourself feel good and look good, just don’t. Be better. You may be doing more harm than you think you are because it may or may not affect you depending on how much you value that friendship or relationship.
FattyGetHott 